Men Troubles
by PixieFag
Summary: When Luffy and Zoro take it to the bedroom,Zoro is forced to cover up their little session by lying to Sanji. But a plan is hatched in Sanji's head,and he wants to find out what they were up to.. Rated T: Mild Swearing, Yaoi ZoLu, very very little ZoLuSan
1. The Locked Hatch

Could you say it was a nice day? Probably not,because the rain was pouring down,hitting most outer areas of the ship,the Going Merry. Everyone was inside,trying to figure out what to do about the continuing rain.

"Ne,Sanji.. I want food.." whined Luffy,an exasperated sigh coming out of his mouth as he clutched his stomach hungrily. Sanji didn't look back from the counter,where he was cutting fruit into slices.

"Ah,shush Luffy,you'll get something soon,dinner is within an hour,"he said,staring at the cutting knife in his hand as he sliced the fruit.

Luffy clutched his stomach and faked a painful,famished moan. Sanji simply ignored him,so he went to bother Zoro instead,who was sleeping in the men's bunk room,enjoying a snooze.

The past few days had been very fulfilling for Zoro,it seemed. He had come out of the closet to Luffy, which meant _yes_, he was gay. And it seemed by utter coincidence that Luffy happened to have the longest crush on Zoro.. Which worked out a hell of a lot better than he had thought. So now that he and Luffy were dating, he felt no need to try to find other love. He almost felt..

Complete.

Now,not being the heaviest or the lightest sleeper,he woke up suddenly when he heard the door open,and someone lock the hatch on the ceiling behind them. He could hear footsteps,so he turned over,only to be face to face with his one and only lover.

"Well,what do we have here?" He beckoned Luffy to come closer,and when he did,he picked him up easily and got him to lie down on top of him. He gently held Luffy's head and placed it in the crook of his neck,so that he was more comfortable. Then Zoro turned his head and gently kissed Luffy on the lips.

It wasn't exactly the best place for a kiss,but it would do. As long as no one unlocked the hatch coming down from the wooden mast and turned on the lights,they would be fine.

In the meantime,Zoro and Luffy were still lovingly kissing eachother. Luffy slowly wrapped his arms around Zoro's chest,feeling a powerful outburst of affection towards him. Zoro could feel Luffy's warm lips caressing his own, an awareness that provoked desires to be with him even more. Luffy let out a soft,low moan,kissing back with the best of his ability. At that point in time, Zoro slipped his wet tongue into Luffy's warm mouth. He greeted it with his own tongue, feeling his hot breath in his own mouth. As they rubbed their tongues together, Luffy could feel Zoro moving his hands down his back,to his bottom,and he started to writhe around,playfully. He squeezed his bottom lightly as they kissed passionately,holding eachother in this warm embrace.

Neither one of them wanted this to end,until there was a banging on the locked hatch. "Oi! Marimo! Luffy! Come up 'ere,dinner is ready!" Sanji yelled through the door in the floorboards.

"Shit,couldn't they save this for later..?" Zoro questioned,not expecting an answer. He smoothly got Luffy off of him,and they both climbed up the mast and unlocked the hatch.

" 'Ey Moss-Head," Sanji started as him and Zoro were washing dishes," what were you and Luffy doing down there with the hatch locked anyways?"

Zoro's face started to burn up. "N-Nothing,damn curly-brow,nothing." Sanji cocked his eyebrow at him. Then his face formed into a devilish smile.

An extremely devilish idea had formed in his head.


	2. Sanji's Plan

"MEAT!" Luffy screeched as he gobbled up everything on his plate in a matter of seconds.

"Luffy! Don't keep all the damn food for yourself!" Scolded Sanji,kicking him in the head lightly.

"Nyeeh,Sanji,wha' was that for?" Whined Luffy,rubbing the spot where Sanji kicked him,groaning.

"For almost eating everything on the table.." Replied an irritated Sanji,still trying to get over his captain's stupidity. Seriously,Luffy's personality was definitely not normal. His captain could be the scariest person ever in battle,but he was obviously an idiot. All he would do is **eat**,and he didn't seem to gain anything from it..

Suddenly,Zoro opened the door and sat down in a chair,leaned back,and snapped at Sanji. " 'Ey,ero-cook,get me somethin' to eat!" Luffy finally sat down after begging Sanji and took a seat next to Zoro,smiling at him cheerfully.

Nami,who had been reading some sort of popular magazine,eyed them anxiously,then glanced at Sanji. He looked at her,then back at them. '_No way,_' he thought,'_there can't possibly be anything going on between those two,could there?_' He pushed the belief out of his head,and went back to thinking about his plan to find out about them.

In the meantime,Zoro and Luffy had been completely oblivious to the looks they got, and talked about their arrangements for later that day,when everyone was asleep. They made sure to talk quietly,though,because they were at the table in front of everyone else.

It was about an hour after they all ate supper that day,when Zoro and Luffy were sitting together out on deck,talking about where they would go that night to rip eachothers clothes off. Little did they know that while they were talking about that exact subject,Sanji had come out from the kitchen and heard the words,"the men's room,tonight,when everyone is asleep."

Sanji smiled evilly to himself,then went to find Usopp,who was tinkering with some programmed items.

"Hey long-nose,could I ask a favor of ya?" Sanji asked,opening the hatch to the men's room,where Usopp was building something.

He glanced up at the blonde cook,and a welcoming smile spread on his face. "Yeah,sure,what is it?"

The cook grinned slyly. "You wouldn't happen to have something to catch video with,would you?"

Usopp just stared at him curiously. "What are you planning to do with it,Sanji?"

Taking a cigarette from the pouch in his shirt,he got his lighter and lit it,put it in his mouth and inhaled deeply. Then he smirked at Usopp. "Just an experiment,Usopp-kun,just an experiment.."

Usopp handed him a video camera from the pocket of his trousers. "Here 'ya go,Sanji. Return it by tomorrow,'kay?" Sanji nodded,then left.

'_I hope this doesn't mentally scar me for life.._' he thought,then returned to the kitchen to clean up some dishes.


	3. At Night

**Author's Note:**

**Oh my God guys I'm so sorry for the late chapter! I was caught up with school and art,so I kind of completely forgot about doing chapter 3. Very,very sorry for the wait. **

**So this is the final chapter! After this will be an epilogue. I'm sorry about nothing sexual guys (LOL), I really don't know how to write that stuff. Anyways,I hope you enjoy chapter 3 of Men Troubles!**

That night, when he made sure everyone was at the table eating their dinner,Sanji told everyone he'd be right back,he just had to get something from the men's room. He took the video camera out of his pocket and grinned slyly. "_Now I'll find out what's between those two_," he thought to himself as he unlocked the hatch,and crept down the ladder to the men's quarters. He found a spare barrel against the wall, and pulled it so that if you were lying down on the hammocks,you wouldn't be able to see it but the camera could still record video.

Then he walked back to the kitchen to prepare a bit more food for the next day,seeing Luffy would want more later on anyways.

When he got to the kitchen everyone seemed to be about finishing up their dinner,it seemed,except for Luffy,who was gobbling up food at a tremendous speed,and Zoro,who was watching him with a content,interested smile. Sanji would glance at them every now and then when he was walking back and forth to the fridge and counter. He didn't even notice when they left,until after when he looked back at the table again. Only Nami remained.

The cook did a double take when he saw Nami and asked her politely,"when did you get here,my beloved Nami-san?" In a loving voice. Nami just looked at him,confused.

"Sanji-kun,do you notice anything different about Luffy and Zoro?" She questioned,in a worried tone.

"Like the fact that they seem.. Somewhat,how should I say it.. _Attracted_ to eachother?" Replied Sanji calmly,seeing out of the corner of his eye Nami was taken aback.

"Y-yes Sanji-kun,that's exactly what I mean. They seem to be talking more,and being together more,and.. more _everything_! I don't think there's been a time of day when they aren't together!" Nami said apprehensively,"Is there any way to find out what's going on between the two?"

Sanji smiled happily at her,his face seeming to brighten,knowing that there was someone else who wanted to know about them. "Nami-san,I know just the thing." He leaned in to her ear and whispered what he was doing with the video camera.

When he finished telling her about the plan,she turned on her chair to look at him straight in the one eye,and started to speak. "Sanji,you're brilliant! Include me on this plan right now,and I'll pay you back by cleaning up the men's room every week," she said with a crafty smile. Sanji just looked at her and nodded,smirking to himself.

Suddenly they heard a noise,and looked up. Usopp was standing in the doorway. "Uhmm.. What're you guys talkin' about?" He asked,curiously.

Nami stuttered as she tried to talk calmly. "No-nothing Usopp! N-nothing 't'all! G-go back to y-your watch now!" He gave her a very puzzled look,then shrugged it off and left.

"Phew.. That was close," Nami said,brushing pretend sweat from her forehead. Sanji let out a chuckle.

"Don't worry Nami, just another day and we'll find out everything," spoke Sanji calmly.

A couple hours later,when it had finally become dark outside, Sanji silently waited for everyone to be away from the rooms, then went down to the men's room to turn on the video camera. He then pressed the power button,and waited for a red light to come on,to symbolize that it was working.

The red light never came on.

"Fuck!" Spat Sanji,as he threw the video camera on the ground. Now there would be no way to record Luffy and Zoro. There would be no way to find out what was happening. Atleast,not unless.. "No,no,no!" Sanji cursed himself for thinking of such an outrageous second plan. "I am _not_ going to spy on them! I don't want to see something like that!" Then he thought to himself. Maybe he could work this to his advantage,and interrupt their little fling,and then threaten to tell everyone! _'Yes,that would work,'_ he thought deviously,then went to tell Nami his plan 'B'.

"**What**?!" Nami shrieked. "You're going to what?!" Sanji nodded.

"Nami-san,it's the only way! The video camera I had didn't work!"

Nami leaned back in her creaky,wooden chair in the kitchen,where they were conversing about the plan 'B' that Sanji had thought of. She ran a hand through her ginger hair, and looked troubled. "But Sanji,what if they see you?"

"They won't,I'm very clever when it comes to hiding!" He boasted,folding his arms and grinning.

Nami smiled. "You're sure about that? You haven't been taking lessons from Usopp-san?"

"Ah,Nami,I see you have your doubts about me! Don't worry,I know how to hide."

The orange-haired girl righted herself in her chair. "Well,I won't be there to watch,so you can tell me about it after! Anyways,I'll be out on the main deck if you need me,Sanji-kun." She blew him a kiss,then left the kitchen.

It was now two in the morning,and Luffy and Zoro were sitting on the floor in the men's room,cuddling. They had locked the hatch,

"Ne,Zoro,can I ask you a question?" Luffy placed his arms gently around Zoro's waist and leaned in closer to his face,their noses almost touching.

Zoro smiled lightly. He carefully picked Luffy up with a small,barely audible grunt, and placed him on his lap. Luffy moved his arms and legs so they were holding onto Zoro,his hands around his neck and his legs behind his waist.

Luffy looked up at his face with bold brown eyes. _God_,how Zoro loved his eyes. They were so daring. So loving..

"Yes,Luffy? What is it you would like to ask me?" Zoro planted a small kiss on Luffy's lips,and then drew back to gaze into his eyes.

"Z-Zoro.." Luffy looked around quickly. "..Do you feel like someone's watching us?"

The green-haired marimo looked around quickly. He didn't _feel_ like anyone was watching them.. He lightly shrugged his shoulders. "It's probably nothing,Luffy," he mumbled roughly,rubbing Luffy's back as he spoke. He nuzzled the younger teen's head,then nipped his ear. Luffy didn't do anything except shift a bit in the swordsman's lap.

Zoro abruptly stood up, then moved over to the couch on the far side of the room. He lid down so Luffy was still on top of him,but then quickly turned over so that he was lying over the ink-haired boy. There was a moment of silence between them,staring into each other's eyes.

Then Luffy grinned as wide as he could,his eyes lighting up. He moved his arms free of Zoro's grasp,and started to tickle the swordsman!

The moss-haired swordsman squirmed a bit,and then quickly regained his composure,gripping Luffy's arms, then holding them behind the boy's head. "Keep them there," he spoke quietly,careful of the others that were sleeping on the other side of the room,in their hammocks. He carefully grasped Luffy's shirt,slowly,but easily,and took it off the teenager.

The only thing they didn't know,was Sanji lying down in his hammock,pretending to be asleep,because he knew he'd be seen if he tried hiding. Every moment or so he would open his eyes and look at the two. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. _'No way,'_ he thought,_'this just goes beyond anything I've ever seen. Nami-san will be surprised too!'_ He was shocked. Just the thought of the captain and the swordsman as a pair was somewhat non-surprising - since Zoro and Luffy were very close - to him,but no matter how much he wanted to look away,he couldn't tear his eyes away from the two.

Zoro traced a finger down the boy's chest, and up again,back and forth. Luffy's eyes were locked on Zoro as he did this,seeming to forget everything in the world,just him and Zoro.. Until Zoro started tickling the boy's sides! Luffy wiggled around under Zoro,but he couldn't really move around since he was under the swordsman and he was pretty strong.

To Luffy's surprise,he swiftly moved his arm from the awkward position it was in on the couch,and grasped Zoro's arm,pulling him down near his face. Their noses were almost touching,and their warm breath was on each other's lips. Luffy stared into Zoro's hardened eyes warmly,and smiled slightly. "Ne,Zoro.." He said quietly,gazing into his eyes.

"Hm,Luffy?"

"I love you."

Zoro looked at Luffy for a moment,his eyes glittering. "Luffy,I love you too."

Sanji turned over and stared into the darkness of the room. He could still hear them on the couch,_loving_ eachother. Then a disturbing thought came into his mind. _'What if I joined them?_' He thought curiously. '_Wait __**what**__? __**No**__. No way I am asking them. It's much,much too sudden.. and what would Nami-san think?_' Then he rolled over and glanced at them. Finally,he had had enough of this.

He slowly got up,and stood there leaning against the wall. They didn't even notice him,until he piped up in a deep,rich voice.

"Mind if I join you?"


End file.
